The European Commission have just announced that English will be the official language of Bulgaria following the countries entry into the EU. Due to political correctness in the UK, Gordon Brown has concluded that English must be changed from its present form because of concerns about the English language offending Germany and Italy. The PM has accepted a five year phase to make the necessary changes in Bulgaria although the new language will be implemented in the UK from today.
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"...Sertainly this will make the Sivil Servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k"...This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik support in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f"...This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage were more komplikated changes are possible. The government will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaiining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reali sensibl riten styl. Zer wil no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru!